if only you would understand.

oh..frackalacking..

i know i'm stupid.

and how i got those grades are a miracle.

now i regret writing those entry.

my niat is just to be honest.

and that's what i got.

huh.

disebabkan aku not that good in words.

am gonna let these tumblr picture do the job.

mostly, my feeling right now is like this.

apa yang saya nak.

is just that we're free of troubles.

I believe you.

niat nak believe.

and yeah I believe.

with just an edge of doubt.

and guess what?

even that so.

i still try to love you with all my heart.

sekejap lagi terasa nak buat camnih:

i colud have this guy:

but i choose you.

i do realise salah aku though,

yang aku ni selalu sangat 

and that selalu buat kita gado.

but i overthinking.

sebab nak the best for us.

harap sangat buleh lari dari masalah nih.

thanks daya cause hear my problem.

i appreciate that.

hmm.. i lied when i say im okay.

most of the time i lied.

this problem makes me miss my dad.

i miss you dad.

kalau ayah ada.

maybe non of this would've happen.

i miss you badly :)

ok.

now i'm crying.

im going to fight for this.

believe me i will.

Wordless Saturday

oh..frackalacking..

all on my tumblr :

Wingardium Leviosa
(klik tau! tiap2 hari updated :) )

bye peeps :)

p/s: i love it when guys laugh with kids :) cause i can see the future. haha.

it's too much

oh..frackalacking..

entry ni .

will be pretty much written in english.

so get your dictionary or google translate ready.

see the picture?

yeah.

im so damn freaking tired.

off all the shit talking.

all things that they say about you,

the things that you do.

i've told you before,

please, please be honest with me.

if i could beg i'll beg.

all i want is your total honesty.

i dont know how much i can handle this anymore.

i'm tired okay.

i thought that you're perfect.

i thought that we're having a real relationship.

you're everything that i ever wanted.

i've sworn right?

that i;ll never have any other.

i'll alway keep my promise.

and i hope you too.

well, at least i thought so.

things didn't quite go the way we want it ey?

i wonder it myself too.

why things never seems to be in their place.

and awak,

to be honest.

you're the only one i've spent this much time 

and effort to.

i cant promise you that it'll be a perfect relationship.

but i can promise you.

that if you're trying to make this work,

im staying.

im never goin to wander anywhere

im trying to make it all work for us.

i dont want us to suffer.

or anybody to suffer.

and the things is ,

i dont know how to be someone you miss.

because you'll always have others to please.

yeah,

im sure that we can pretend that the other person didn't exist.

but deep down inside,

we know it wasnt supposed to end like this.

yeah,

i do.

i do trying hard to trust you.

but when i've build up that trust.

somehow, there'll be something.

something that kept trashing the trust apart .

and one of my resolution this year,

is makin it as a no-cry-for-men year.

but awal2 lagi dah failed.

yeah,

i've cried.

lots of time too.

till i'm sick.

you know,

when i'm with you,

it's like you cast me on a spell.

you make it..as if.. my trouble goes away,

but what it really does is that it just keep getting piled up.

the trouble just keep piling up and piling up and keep piling up.

sometime,

because i really love you,

i just keep lying to myself.

there aint no trouble.

there aint.

but i am a terrible liar.

am not saying that it's all your fault.

some of it was mine too.

but with all this came tumbling down,

i dont know how much longer i can keep holding on.

while all you did was let go.

i wish we had one more chance to pull it back together.

like before.

cause i really dont want to lose you.

i want to have a fresh start.

a new, clean one.

but i guess it's too  late for that.

i really love you  you know.

but i dont know if you're serious or not.

cause you have a lots of girls~

other girls.

i wish we could go back to the time when I'M your girl.

your ONLY girl.

but tada sape ada bina time machine.

and when people talk bad about you.

i'm tryingto ignore it.

i tried hard.

but the talk just keep pushing and pushing.

and i donno who to believe.

my soul and heart may be damaged by you.

but i dont care.

im willing it to be like that,

because i love you like a mad man.

i'm sorry.

but you asked me to be terus terang.

and this is me terus terang,

im sorry.

i love you.

badly,

deeply.

i need you.

i miss you.

i want you.

all by my self.

lagu set fire to the rain sesuai untuk awak.

"Set Fire To The Rain"

I let it fall, my heart,
And as it fell you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

My hands, they're strong
But my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you
That I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say
They were never true, never true,
And the games you play
You would always win, always win.

[Chorus:]
But I set fire to the rain,
Watched it pour as I touched your face,
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

When I lay with you
I could stay there
Close my eyes
Feel you here forever
You and me together
Nothing is better

'Cause there's a side to you
That I never knew, never knew,
All the things you'd say,
They were never true, never true,
And the games you play
You would always win, always win.

[Chorus:]
But I set fire to the rain,
Watched it pour as I touched your face,
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt something die
'Cause I knew that there was the last time, the last time!

Sometimes I wake up by the door,
That heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now when we're already over
I can't help myself from looking for you.

[Chorus:]
I set fire to the rain,
Watched it pour as I touched your face,
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain,
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt something die
'Cause I knew that there was the last time, the last time, oh, oh!

Let it burn
Oh oh ohhhh
Let it burn
Oh oh ohhhh
Let it burn
Oh oh ohhhh

before awak pergi.

oh..frackalacking...

Assalammualaikum :) oy mr.D yang saya sayang. 

ok. 

first of all.

saya nak cakap yang saya yakin yang kita akan kekal lama.

seriously.

saya nak cakap jugak yang saya bersyukur gilak la sebab kenal awk ni.

sebab awak ni bertanggungjawab, baik gilak and sabar gilak.

saya tahu awak asyik bersabar je dengan perangai saya yang degil gilak.

keras kepala gila babeng and asyik timbul masalah je.

tapi nak buat macam mana saya memang begini..wuwuw.

tapi saya akan berubah. dont worry .

ni pun tengah berubah la nih.

tapi slow.

macam siput...

harap awak sabar. sabar ye sayang?

euw.

ta penah panggil kau sayang.
sebab ramai orang panggil kau sayang so dah ta best.

sebab tu aku panggil kau mr.incredible and lain2 tuh.
lagipun kau pun suka panggil orang lain sayang kan.
tu aku tanak panggil kau sayang tuh.
ok2.
kalau dah cakap kau aku nih semua kuar.
haha.

ok2.

ok.

lagi satu,

saya sumpah takkan dua2,tiga2 kan awak.

tanak tengok awak sakit hati/luka kat hati.

kadang2 saya takut tau kalau awak dah bosan dengan saya sebab 

saya ayik buat masalah je.

saya tengah try untuk buat hubungan kita cool and macam dulu2.

and im sorry.

sebab saya ta perfect untuk awak.

sori lah.

sori.sori.

thanks gila2 sebab choose saya among billion of perempuan kat dalam dunia nih.

saya nak tengok muka awak senyum and ketawe je.

yang lain tanak.

tanak muncung2..tanak nangis2...tanak marah2.

bila awak buat lawak kan.

saya sukeeeeeeeeeeeee sangat.

rasa macam nak cakap kat ibu untuk terus datang dengan rombongan kereta pergi rumah awak masuk meminang. haha.

tapi tanak la ladies yang buat kan. haha.

saya harap awak takkan lupakan saya nanti.

saya takkan lupakan awak.

sayang awak gilak2 macam orang batak jumpa manusia tau!

rasa macam nak makan je.

aumm!

hehe.

saya harap,

eventhough saya bukan awak nye yang pertama,

saya akan jadi awak nye yang terakhir.

and saya tanak ada yang ke-dua, ke-3, ke-4.

nononono.

kasi kaki karang :P

ok.

last sekali.

Ya ALLAH, aku mohon sangat2 supaya kau kekal kan hubungan kitorang yang perfect nih.

saya sayang awak gila gila la superman! 

you're my wonderwall!

Kenduri Kesyukuran Twin

oh...frackalacking..

Assalammualaikum manusia sejagat.

Hello 2012.

Macam mana dengan 2012 korang?

ok.

terlalu awal untuk cakap.

em..

malam tadi tido lambat sebab tengok countdown.

tapi kat TV je.

and kalau korang perasan,

kat twitter dah over capacity sebab ramai gilak nak wish 

Happy New Year.

Hope 2012 is a better year for me.

Tengah malam tadi pun rancang nak call mr.D.

tapi dia ta angkat.pfft.

tido kut.

or else.

stop it right there najwa!
husnuz zhon sikit.

ok2.

biya la.

ta kesah.

ok.

semalam dari hari jumaat sampai hari sabtu,

aku tido rumah Hidayah Haris.

Twin aku.

mak dia ajak tido umah untuk tolong rewang.

so aku pun excited lah.

and then bitau mak aku yang mak daya ajak tid umah.

mak aku pun cool je.

so on jelah.

sebenarnya before pergi umah daya,\

aku demam.

sebab sehari before that aku gi lepak at shopping mall dengan mr.D.

so.

aku ni jenis yang ta buleh sejuk tau.

sebab nanti demam.(tadapat la ku nak duduk kat london)

so..

mak aku pulak suruh aku amik rambutan sikit.

bawa pergi rumah daya.

so dengan badan yang demam tuh.

pergi kait rambutan kat depan rumah dengan along.

oleh kerana kitorang ni ta pernah kait rambutan sebelum nih.

benda yang senang tu jadi susah.

so oleh kerana mak aku dengar suara kitorang menjerit.

dia pun datang and takeover.

nasib baik mak aku ada.

ok.

lepas amik rambutan tuh.

disebabkan baju dah berpeluh.

perggi mandi sekejap.

eventhough before that aku dah mandi.

and then kerana aku mandi lama.

mak aku marah sebab dia nak cepat.

so dengan tergesa2 aku pun siap2.

and terus masuk kereta dengan beg aku yang macam nak tido umah 

daya selama sebulan.

aku memang macam tuh.

kalau pergi mana2 memang beg bosar gila macam nak duduk lama2 jek.

sebab better to have it when you need it than not to have it when you need it.

ok.

before pergi rumah daya tuh,

singgah umah jiran aku sekejap.

then masa tengah tunggu mak aku berborak tuh.

abru aku teringat berus gigi and facial aku tertinggal.

so mak aku pun terpaksa masuk rumah balik.

then setelah beberapa minit yang lama baru jalan gi rumah dayak.

sampai je rumah daya,

aku tengok family dia and jiran dia tengah main besit selipar.

so aku tanya dayat:

'dayat,kak daya mane?'

dia kat dalam .

so mengelak dari kena selipar tu semua.

akhirnya aku sampai gak depan umah dayah.

letak beg sekjap and then minta tolong daya 

bawakan rambutan.

then tetiba kat fiza keluar and cakap,

ajak la mak masuk.

lepastu aku pun kejar la kereta mak aku.

sebab mak aku dah tutup tingkap.

so kau bayang kan jela aku lari kejar kereta dengan rambutan kat dua2 tangan.

tapi mak aku ta nak turun sebab dia nak cepat.

so..

aku pun masuk rumah.

daya kata rewang dah habis.

tinggal masak je esok.

so ..kitorag pun just lepak2 gitu je.

tangkap2 gambar.

lepak dengan afiy and fifi.

ceyh.

kecik2 lagi dah pandai melepak.

ok.

so..

malam tuhh..

ada tolong susun pinggan mangkuk cawan piring suma tuh.

and then daya kena beli roti.

so oleh kerana keakraban keluarga yang sangat best,

sepupu2 dia semua nak join.

aku and daya naik motor.

mira and mamat pun naik moto.

dayat nak ikut.

mula2 kitorang macam tanak kasi.

tapi disebab kan dia berkeras jugak,

so dia pun naik la basikal.

haha.

kelakar gilak la.

dia asyik kena tinggal je.

and mamat asyik kenakan dia.

masa tengah beli roti tu kelakar gilak la.

oleh kerana yang besar2 malas nak tutrn beli roti

so kitorang pun suruh la dayat,

kesian dayat kena araaaaah...je dengan kitorang.

macik kedai tu pun sound kitoang.

dia kata yang kat atas motor tu tahu mengarah jek.

ape ntah lagi.

aku ta ingat.

so before masuk umah balik,

kitoang jalan2 satu kampun tuh.

baru masuk rumah.

best tau :)

and then bila dah malam sikit on9.

then kitorang tengok Maharaja Lawak Mega Akhir tuh.

and masa tenga tengok tuh,

tiba2 lela mesej.

dia kata otw.

so aku and daya pun bawak la lappy pergi tunggu lela kat luar rumah.

oleh kerana lama sangat tunggu.

daya mesej la lela.

kata almost sampai tapi asal ta muncul2.

then lela reply dia kata dia baru lalu kat pantai klebang.

and we're like.

WHAT?

haaha..

bengong la lela nih..lol..

so kitorang pun masuk

and makan.

then kitorang on9...

bila dah malam sikit.

makan roti john yang ayah daya belikan.

then dalam pukul satu pagi tuh..

aku ajak daya buat slow shutter photography.

aku selalu buat dengan family aku.

then ajak dayat and mira sekali.

so pretty much banyak juga la image yang kitorang dapat hasilkan.

yang selebih nya adalah nonsense.

haha..

hidayah's

hidayah's

dayat

dayat's

mira's

aku

dayat's

ok.

lepas buat tuh...

kitoang semua masuk bilik masing..

dayat masuk bilik dia and aku,daya and mira satu bilik.

kiitorang on9 sampai pukul 3 pagi.

haha.

aku and daya sebab update blog.

mira pulak pasal ap aku tatau..haha..

so of course la keesokannye tuh kitoang bangun lambat gilak kan.

ok.

tadela lambat.

pukul 8 lebih gitu je.

nak pukul 9 macAm t kut..

so..

kitoang bangun and breakfast..

nasi lemak pedas.haha.

after that kitoang mandi.

tukar baju and siap2.

then tiba2,

ayah daya datantg dia kata kawan kau yang shida ada kat kuala.

dia suruh amek.

and kitoang pulak kaget sebentar.and like,

syidah?

and then tibe2 syidah muncul..

haha,..

so kitorang teruskan bersiap dan syidah menmabil gmabar.,haha..

ok.\so tunggu je orang datang..

thenkitoang pun sediakan lauk pauk semua..and while kenduri belangsung..ada 

taking picture bagai.

kak fiza pun ada pakai baju cantik and amek gambar banyak2..

but then dia ta dapat stay long.

dia kena kerja..

so lepas baca tahlil and everything..

makan2 pulak.

tolong orag angakt kan dulang ke depan and everything..

laila pun sampai time tuh..

dia datang je dia cakap kat ayah dayah dia nak cuci pinggan.

huhu.

ok..

malas nak cerita banyak sebab aku taingat details.

so petang tuh kitoang jalan ka tepi pantai..

tempat yang kitoang selalu pergi.

and disebabkan panas and too windy.

kitorang lepak sekejap jek.

then kitoang masuk rmah balik and on9.

ta lama kemudian family daya nak tengok Ombak Rindu the movie at Astro First.

while family diorang tengok movie tuh,

aku and lela makan.

lapar lepas jalan.

haha.

  

after that dalam pukul 5 lebih gitu.

daya ajak main besit selipar.

tapi ta jadi.

so kitorang pun tengok tv and else..

then dalam pukul 6 gitu,

laila nye ayah dah call.

suruh balik.

and mula2 ayah daya suruh stay dulu,

sebab nak beli makanan for minum petang,

but then disebab kan takt ayah laila marah,

so dia pun balik,

and aku and daya tolong hantarkan.

lepas sampai rumah daya,

kitoarng salam dengan ayah laila and all.

then keluar balik and pegi pasar malam.

beli ice- blended and kebab.

then balik balik rumah daya sebab takut mak aku da sampai.

ok.

so sampai je rumah daya,

kitorang tengok parents daya and yang lain tengah makan kat luar.

and so kitorang pun join lepas angkat kain baju semua tuh..

then..

masuk dalam and tengok tangled sekejap.

timetengah syok tengok tuh.

tibe2 mira baca satu minah ni nye stats.

and then ada nama kitorang.

kitoang pun terkejut la.

rupanya Poya.

dia kata.

dia nak pindah.

wuwu..susah nak caya tau.

still in shock mode nih,

macam ta caya jek.

Jaga diri baik2 tau poya.
nanti kat sana jangan lupakan kitorang.wuwuw..

sayang kau :)

ok.

ta lama after that.

mak aku pun sampai

then aku pun balik and mandi and on9.

bye2.

sory entry macam ni.

aku baru lepas makan sebab tu rase simple jek.

bye2.

SAYA SAYANG AWAK mr.D. WUWUW..